Starting Over...Again

Life doesn't stop. Busy, stretched, tired.....many can attest to feeling this way. The problem is, many of us allow that feeling to rule our lives and soon, that morphs into a behavior.  That behavior can be destructive.  

That is where I am at now..today. My day begins around 4:30-5am, involves the rustling of my toddler, myself and then the daycare shuffle, total daily commute of roughly 3 hours (more on some days), a demanding career with long hours after hours,and lots to do on the home-front. This paired with the challenge of not having family available to help with relief at times takes a toll.

Over the past few months, this has lead to more frequent consumption of quick, not so healthy fast and easy to zap foods (Chick fil A or the hot bar or pizza at Wegmann’s typically),  decreased or no workouts, less walking, and less sleep. What’s this recipe? One that yields horrible results such as weight gain, lethargy, aggravated depression…an overall decrease in quality of life.

I love being a mother and wife, and before anything, my family comes first.  The issue.....I have not been consistent when it comes to making time for ME.  Whether it be working out, writing, mediating, reading....I can't tell you the last time I truly, really got down to the business of ME.  Sound familiar? Admit it....you can relate on some level and in many instances, beyond what my words have outlined. 

I broke down on my husband one day recently, sobbing in his arms feeling horrible at how I was once again able to wear the jeans I worked so hard to get out of. 176 pounds...and my body has been feeling every bit of it. I have been feeling so defeated, lost and disgusted with myself.  I felt so angry that I was so far away from where I said I would be...from where I had once been. 

I promised myself yet again that THIS MUST STOP....that I MUST make a CHANGE and get back to taking care of myself. After all....if the quality of my life is suffering, I am not living my life optimally. This is cheating....cheating myself and my family. 

So....after a brief pity party, I took a good look in the mirror and recommitted myself to ME.  

One day at a time...

Another mistake, I have realized, is that I keep thinking back to how it was after I lost all of that weight a few years ago; how fit and strong I was, how good I felt, how young I looked...how healthy I was.  Nothing wrong with wanting to get back on track....but I realize that trying to shove myself into a box from the past is also CHEATING ME. For one, my life is so very different from the first time I went down this road; I am back in corporate America, I am a mother of a beautiful little girl, my body has changed, circumstances have changed......Why not focus on improving from where I am today and perhaps, just maybe, exceeding the goals I achieved in the past? Why not that, instead?  

So, I am kind of babbling...but the bottom line is this; I have done it before and I will do it again.

It may take me longer, I will have to be more creative with my plan of action and my time...but 

One day at a time....

Through Christ, all things are possible.  

What a difference a year can make!

April 30, 2010….this date will forever be celebrated as the anniversary of the start of my “Lifestyle Evolution”.  This past weekend, my husband and I celebrated two major milestones; our 7 year wedding anniversary (which was celebrated a week later), and one year marking the loss of nearly 40 pounds of baggage from my life. Something that is even more exciting; my husband has recommitted to chancing his lifestyle as well, and has lost 18 lbs in the past few months. I am so proud of my life partner. I have prayed for this day for so long.

A year ago I began what at first seemed a daunting, but not impossible journey.  I committed from the inside out to change my life in a way that would make me and those around me better.It was a personal challenge and a plan I’d attempted countless times before. However, this time around…a year ago, I knew it would be different. Under no circumstances could I afford to turn back or become derailed again.

I cannot believe it has really been an entire year!  WOW!!!! What a difference a year can make. Here are the stats:

April 30, 2010:

Height 5 foot 1

Weight: 183.5 lbs

Waist- 34.5 inches

Pants Size- 14 (and TIGHT!!! Some of my pants were 14/16.)

Shirt  Size- XL

Confidence- Low, Energy Level- Low, Self-Esteem-Sinking even lower

April 30, 2011:

Weight : 145 lbs

Waist-29.5 inches

Pants Size- 10 (and they are LOOSE!!!)

Shirt Size- M (and LOOSE)
Confidence-Solid, Energy Level-HIGH!!!, Self-Esteem-Better and improving daily! 

 

For those of you out there that know what calories are and HARD it is to burn just one alone, you will appreciate this: 134,750.  This massive number represents the number of calories I had to burn in order to lose 38.5 pounds (it takes the burning of 3500 calories to lose ONE pound). I fought for every single one of those pounds, too. 

Anyway, I am not going to keep raving about my weight loss, as excited as I am. I am just so proud of myself for sticking to it and maintaining this lifestyle change.  I only have 15 more pounds to lose before I get to my goal weight. I am going to stay the course and focus on continuing to lose, maintain and tighten.  As far as my regime, cardio continues to be a critical and regular piece (elliptical, strider, treadmill when possible and lots of walking.) I dropped the gym membership a few months ago and began something new; I have added P90X into the mix. I finally kicked it in gear and I am now in the second Phase (Wk 6, Day 1 began today). This system is helping me to increase my endurance, strength, and improved the tone and definition of my body. I am doing things I never imagined I could do and growing stronger everyday in so many ways.

As I have been going through this journey, I have been told countless times that I have inspired and motivated others to begin doing the same. I am so grateful for this. Many people have touched, encouraged and inspired me along the way as well and that has kept me going. I plan to pay it forward and have a few ways of making this happen.  I am working on a draft of a Wellness Proposal that I will submit to my employer. I would like to put some sort of fitness newsletter or program together that can be shared with team members across the country.  Additionally, I want to get out in the community and perhaps volunteer at local fitness facility to assist others that want to make a lifestyle change.  And among a few others ideas in my head, I am continuing to work on a book that I will publish once my goal weight is reached.  I don’t want notoriety, I just want to lift others up and return the favor.  

My question for you is simple; what can you do to change your life and that of those around you?  What is holding you back? Is it you, maybe?  I held myself back for all of my 20’s. I lived inside of a box…inside the dimensions of a prison I created for myself.  I implore you to stand up and FIGHT for yourself. FIGHT for a better life…….I  know that it CAN be done. You just have to want it…and you have to make time for the best personal trainer out there…JC!  

Thanks for the support. No matter what happens, whatever God's plan is, I will never be a prisoner inside of my own body again. Check back soon for updates! God bless!

Make It Work!

-Seven Verses Deep (Kia)